Wishing she were a man…

Women are so complicated.  You’d think that being a woman would make it easier to understand members of the same sex, but no such luck.

There’s a girl who I’ll call H.  She’s an amazing friend and I love her to death, but I have to admit I’ve had a thing for her from the day that I met her.  H is so beautiful in so many ways, and she’s been such an amazing friend.  I’ve only ever grown to like her even more over time.

I’ve told H in the past that I was attracted to her, and she took the news pretty well.  Even though she was one of my best friends, I still felt she would react negatively.  I had to get it off my chest because it was beginning to impact our friendship.  How positively she reacted to the news only affirmed my feelings that she was someone worth loving.

I hadn’t seen H for about a year until the other day.  She’s been away at school, and once she came back to town I was the first one to call her.

Now don’t get me wrong, we had a great time.  I have an unfinished poster we made to prove it.  But when she started to talk about her new boyfriend, I started to realize that he sounded a like me.  A LOT like me.  And so did she.  H even remarked, “You two are so alike, it’s actually pretty creepy.”

I wondered what I was supposed to say to that.  All the rest of the day in my head I wondered, “Why is he more worthy of your affection than I am?”

Do anatomical differences render a person unable to be loved?  Don’t get me wrong, I have a boyfriend who loves me very much.  It’s just that I wonder these things sometimes.  I AM allowed to date women, after all.  I just can’t seem to grasp the concept of somehow being less desirable in an emotional sense because I lack a certain appendage.

I tend to always find myself saying, “You went looking when all you needed was right here all along.”

So don’t worry guys.  When it comes to women, I’m blessed with the same sense of confusion that you are.